First Amendment

HA! I'll bet you thought I was going to get all Constitutional on you, huh?

So. My original statement was that I would blog on a daily basis about an experience I had through the course of each day this year for which I was grateful. Sadly, less than a month into this new year and I've missed several days of posting. Please accept my apologies, and let me offer this amendment. I will post every day that my school course load and health dont interfere.

My classes have proven to be more labor intensive than I thought. I knew Anatomy and Physiology I and Lab would be tough. But I was mistaken that my Women's Studies classes would be a bit easier. Adding to that, I was diagnosed with yet ANOTHER kidney infection on Wednesday. The new PA at the student health center put me on Cipro which is a med I havent taken before. Of course, if a med is going to have an uncommon side effect, I'm usually the uncommon person that experiences it. This would be no exception. So far, I'm not experiencing some of the extremes connected to the antibiotic, but lets just say that at this point, the cure is almost as bad as the ailment. Then again, I know from past experience, a lesser antibiotic wouldnt knock out the infection.

So, where's the ray of sunshine in all this, while I sit here feeling grumpy and like hammered crap? I'm reaching for this one, but it does exhibit that I'm trying to use logic instead of fear and worry. One of my biggest fears about being diabetic and contracting kidney infections is that my renal functioning is going to go tits-up quicker than what I'm prepared for. Dialysis is a very real fear for most diabetics as is losing appendages due to poor circulation and eventual blindness caused by retinopathy (another complication of impaired circulation). Generally speaking, these complications usually only occur in diabetics who have had difficulty controlling their blood glucose levels and A1C's. This isnt to insinuate that they dont take care of themselves. I know most diabetics really try. But even folks with strict compliance and insulin pumps arent always able to bring the numbers down. Their diabetes is severe. And even with their best intentions and efforts, they suffer any to many of the complications associated with this hated disease.

Kidney failure is a legitimate worry of mine every time I have a urinary tract infection, worrying if it will move up into the bladder before I catch it in time. Or if I dont, it moves up into the kidneys as it has this time. Cranberry juice and AZO aside, I didnt see the severity of this one until my kidneys started hurting and my urine was cloudy. I dont know if this is how it's always going to be now, or if my immune system just hasnt recovered enough to fight off every insidious little bacteria that wants to work it's way through my urinary system.

But you were waiting for the good news, right? Where's my gratitude in this latest ailment? A little over a month ago when I started having nightly leg cramps, my Kaiser doc ran a renal functioning test to see how things were looking in that area. All the results came back good. I had no mineral deficiencies at that time and my kidneys were working fine. So. I'm grateful for that. And to push down the fear and to be logical and to try and quit worrying, I have to tell myself that my kidneys couldnt have possibly started deteriorating in just a month's time. This is just another infection and I really dont feel nearly as sick as I did a year ago when I had my first kidney infection. Its going to be okay. The infections are frustrating setbacks, but I am still getting better every day. My A1C from a week ago was 7.2. I'm almost under the 7.0 mark that measures great glucose control. I will suck this up and keep going. There's no other option. I have a busy life and important goals to reach. I refuse to feel sorry for myself anymore, no matter how frustrated I might get. My diabetes and how it and my body work with and against each other is just proving to be a bit more challenging than I had initially expected. I'm still on a learning curve here. My overall health is much better than it was a year ago, and the last time I saw my Kaiser doctor she told me that all things considered, I'm actually in pretty good health. I vow to keep that in mind as I continue to regain my footing in this life-altering experience.

Now tell me...arent you a bit surprised? You were expecting a rant on first amendment rights, and you got a quick little venting about pee and me.